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How To Approach Any Woman, Anywhere And Know Exactly What To Say To Get Her To Give You Her Number And Go On A Date With You - NOW

Uncover Powerful Insider Secrets That Will Skyrocket Your Sex Life And Make Wonderful Women Beg You To Date Them - Even If You Are Bald, Fat Or Ugly!

Guy Gets Girl™ Is The 1st And Only Step-By-Simple-Step - Pickup, Dating And Seduction Guide On The Internet Written For Men...
By A Woman!

IMPORTANT: Do not do ANYTHING else in your LIFE until you've read the contents of this box! It may be an eye opener... Give me a minute of your time right now, and let me PROVE to you that regardless of your looks, age and financial standing – YOU can make young beautiful women attracted to you, seduce them at your leisure and make them fall in love with you with frightening regularity. After reading what I have to say, other guys will look and wonder HOW… WHY… They’ll worship you for being able to attract and seduce women at your will - so easily. We aren’t talking about magic here or baloney either… We’re talking about PROVEN simple steps you can take that will make a woman fall for you… big time. Every time. And with scientific like success rates! You see, attraction is MORE of a SCIENCE than an art form. See, as humans, we all have two ways of thinking. Number 1 is using logic or our conscious minds. Number 2 is using emotion or our subconscious minds. The great thing about seducing women is that they are HARD WIRED to follow their emotional thoughts and feelings that are the same across ALL women… They cannot help it. That’s why so many women fall for the same “ass hole” guys. Their logical brains are telling them that they’ll be cheated on. That they’ll be messed around. That they’d be better off with the nice guy. And they are usually right, but women are RUN by their emotional side of the brain. They can’t help but seek out the excitement, the alpha male, the bad boy. Now I’m not for one moment trying to suggest you should become a “bad boy” ass hole, but I’m DEFINITELY saying that if you are frustrated in the dating game, chances are you’ve tried the nice guy way already and it simply doesn’t work at anything other than becoming their “friend” which is the LAST thing you want. PLEASE NOTE: I am NOT suggesting you should become a “bad boy”… Read on… With my unique system I can make you trigger ALL of the emotional attraction switches in the female mind within 7 minutes – without acting like you are somebody else – and get the same success that those few same guys get, all for yourself. It’s as simple as this… If you do and say certain things in a certain way then women WILL become attracted to you. They can’t help it. Women have emotionally evolved brains that DENY logic and make decisions based solely on feelings – when it comes to who they are attracted to. And you know what evolution has done for you also? Made it so that YOUR looks are only 20% of what a woman is looking for. And if you happen to be above a certain “acceptable” levels of looks (and let me tell you, this level is low, lots of UGLY guys make the grade) then you can bypass this 20% TOTALLY and make the whole of a woman’s attraction be about WHO you are and HOW you act, instead of what you look like, or how much you get paid… Let me state that more simply. Use my techniques and it will NOT matter if you are good looking or not, whether you are rich or not, whether you are bald or fat.. ALL of that WON’T MATTER ONE LITTLE BIT. You can “turn off” that side of her brain and have almost any woman in your spell. Sound good? Read on…

From the Desk of Tiffany Taylor
Monday 10:15 am

Never before has a woman thrown out the rulebook and exposed every last intimate secret about what it takes to get a great woman. These secrets are vital to your success and - it's important that you understand them to get you into the lives, hearts and beds of beautiful women!

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"Hi Tiff, I'm just writing to let you know that at first I was skeptical. I mean, how can one woman such as yourself know what EVERY woman wants? Surely every woman is different! I was wrong, you've enlightened me! Even though women don't all want the exact same kind of man, they do want certain attributes in every man. Well, I am happy to say, I took the plunge and read your work. Yours is the best dating and seduction guide I have ever read... It's genius! I can't believe that you've ratted on your fellow female race in this way... Chapter 4 really helped me advance my dating skills! My success with women has gone through the roof and I think I have finally figured out just what women really do want! Thank you Tiff, you've changed my life!" S. R. England

Forget all that you've learned about dating women up until now… If you've learned it from a man, chances are, it doesn't work!

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My name is Tiffany Taylor and I'm an award winning author who has written extensively on the subject of dating. I've had bucket loads of experience in the dating game and I know every aspect of how it all works... A mechanic studies cars, a soldier studies war, I study the dating game - from both angles. The male and the female.

I've earned national and international publishing credentials, changing millions of lives for the better with articles on subjects ranging from Internet dating to sexual satisfaction.

Never before have I completed a project of this size. I have literally dissected the dating game from first base, to scintillating sexual encounters and I've written it for you - a man, from a woman's perspective.

This HAS NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE and this is the very reason this online manual is ultra powerful and will turn you into a superstar with the ladies, regardless of your current situation.

I am the woman who is going to turn you into an irresistible female magnet. In my unique guide here at GuyGetsGirl.com™, I expose all the hot pickup techniques that REALLY work - and even those that don't.

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You should know by now, there are NO easy one-liners that actually work well. Girls hear one-liners all the time and when they hear a cheesy line from you, they presume you're after one thing and then they reject you!

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The SECRETS You Are Going To Learn Today Will Have You In Total Control Of Every Female Encounter

Here is a sample of what you will learn:

• Use my "ABCs of Appearances and Anxiety" system to redesign yourself and make women who wouldn't look at you before, stop dead in their tracks with jaw dropping ease!
  
  
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  This is just a fraction of what you're going to learn when you access my online guide today...

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Match and Fit

You say Freedom and I say freedom

One of my top values is freedom. What it means to me is unique to me and might be very different from your interpretation of freedom For me that means being free to make decisions about my life and career. It means being free to be ME [and there are lots of sub categories of what being me means].

I used to think that I could only have that by living alone. Often we let economic constraints tunnel vision our thinking. As I considered this question, I realised that I could easily live with someone if I had enough space emotionally as well as physically. Sometimes we think we know what has to be in place to satisfy a need, and then we find out how flexible we are.

Freedom is a big word. It can mean many things to many people..here are a few examples I got when I asked people what freedom in a relationship meant to them.

separate holidays, some separate friends, working for themselves, being able to pursue interests even if they are time consuming, being able to indulge sexual relations out side the partnership, having someone accept them for who they are, following religious beliefs
unhampered, having one night out on their own alone each week , living in a separate home, sleeping in separate bedrooms, having a private work areas, your own bathroom, being able to go out for a long walk alone and have no one ask you where you are going...

And I could go on forever, because for each person, freedom will be an emotionally charged word. If you don't understand ASK. What does that mean to you?.

This is who I am - Match and fit?

When you get clarity on what you want, you are then in a position to let someone know.

A friend of mine is an artist. She lives with her man who is a corporate consultant. As she and her husband talked in the early stages of their relationship Arianne made it clear what she absolutely must have from a relationship. She talked about the things she wanted, what was important to her.. and he reciprocated. Keith, her husband, knew what he was getting when he asked her to marry him...they even wrote out their own contract and put it in a locked box.

She has to have a workroom and it's her private space and she expects to be left alone to paint when she is in there and to be able to do it when she wants [and that sometimes includes getting up at 3.00 am]. This suits Keith fine, he values his privacy too.

She expects to be able to invite who she wants into the home, and at odd times when her partner doesn't get on with someone, she won't invite them to spend the evening with her and her partner! Keith loves this because her friends are so interesting and even gave a job to one of her friends which worked out admirably!

Arianne and her partner go on holiday together but he expects to be able to take holidays on her own such as separate trips and weekends with friends - some male, some female. She expects her partner to be OK with this and he is because he also enjoys a golfing holiday with his mates. They have come to an agreement and it works for them.

It's all negotiable

Their relationship works because they created their own contract. Both stated what they needed and what had to be in place and they did it in the early stages of their relationship. WE ALL DO IT. We talk about what's important. What's also important is to listen out for this
information, get a feel for someone and watch how they behave. When you know this is in place, you can begin to develop something that works for you. And what works for you may be VERY DIFFERENT to what works for someone else. 


You can create your own relationship.

Relationships are what you make and what you make of them. Too many of us are constrained by the traditional social choices. Live alone, live together, get married. You can develop any relationship you like with anyone. And when you know and are who you are, you know what will work for you and you are open to suggestions. After all an idea never killed anyone, but living with values that are not compatible with yours could lead you into living death. The death of who you are..

Louise is bisexual. She meets a woman once a month and they literally spend two or three hours having sex in a hotel room. They aren't interested in having a love-live-in relationship with a woman, they just enjoy the sexual side of it - Louise likens it to having a gourmet blow out once a month! They are both married and they both know where they stand. They have a relationship that works for them.

Anna is a 56 year old with a high flying job in the City. She lives in her own flat in London with her 19 year old daughter. Graham, her lover of 10 years is a university professor and lives 400 miles away. They both agreed that their careers were very important so they worked out a system that was right for them. They arrange special weekends away and speak often. Sometimes she visits him and sometimes he her. They take a holiday together and where convenient attend special social events together. They see each other at their best and of course their relationship sparkles with newness each time they meet. They worked out their arrangement because they both know what they want... and things can change..

Stuart was a doctor and so is his wife. Stuart gave it up because he really wanted to work in computers. He could only find work in London. Each weekend he would commute down to their home in Cornwall and spend time with his wife. Marianne, his wife was adamant she couldn't live in London. After two years, they sold their home, bought a holiday cottage in Cornwall and his wife moved to London and she's perfectly content. They successfully negotiated a win-win situation.

Jerry and his wife couldn't make their marriage work. They had 3 kids. They divorced, sold their home and bought two smaller identical houses side by side. The kids have bedrooms in each house and are free to come and go as they wish. Jerry and his wife created a negotiable agreement about how to bring up the kids. Instead of fighting and subjecting the kids to hostile visits where Dad waits in the car to take them for their weekend jaunt, Jerry and his ex-wife have worked out an ever adapting system that is right for them and their kids. And incidentally, they negotiated this when they went to Relate as a last ditch attempt to patch up their marriage.

So, when you do the exploration and discover what is important to you, you can begin to see whether someone is a match and fit for you... and the more aware of your own values, and those of others, the more you can make the decisions that are right for YOU.

What is important to you in a partner?

What has to be in place before you will consider taking any liaison further. What values does that person have to hold to match with you and give a harmonious start to building a relationship? For Tom, it was all about his son.

Tom's 13 year old son, Kev, was a football fanatic and very talented. He wanted to be a professional and Tom was determined to support him fully. Tom worked shifts - lots of evenings. At the weekend he went to the football matches with Kev and supported him. He told me that for a woman to become special in his life, she would have to want to spend time
with Kev and Tom like this. Giving Kev the support he needed was a top priority with Tom.  Whether you agree or not, Tom does NOT want a woman who expects to change this, this is an immutable in his books.

When Nicola met her partner she said 'Look, I'm going to tell you straight - this is how I am. This is what's important to me and this is what's not flexible and this is where I am prepared to compromise and this is what I expect from a relationship - how about you?" Nicola wanted a man who knew who she was and who liked what that was and wanted to be around it. That's why she was so blunt.

While you may not be as blunt as Nicola, I am sure you can understand the value of finding out what is important to yourself and of conveying it to others and then finding out what is important to them. And here's a question to get you thinking...

What do you do or believe in that is so important to you that, if someone were to ask you to give it up or do a lot less of it to be with them, it would be unacceptable?

The clues are there

Often when we first meet, we spend time talking about our lives and past relationships. This is
your opportunity to express what's important to you... stories tell us loads. And this is your
opportunity to discover more about them.

Listen carefully because people are giving you clues all the time. They will tell you what they value and want indirectly. Make sure you reciprocate - and if what they reveal doesn't fit with you..and you still feel drawn, be careful... Check it out further. You could be heading for a minefield - and no-one walks into a minefield thinking 'I won't get hit this time or I can change the mines...this time it'll be different' It probably won't!!

Know who you are - Who are You?

You can't really work out if you want to see more of someone or if they are right for you unless you have a clear idea of what you value in yourself. Do you know who you are? What are the things that are dominant and important in your life, and what values do you hold so true that someone you are with has to have similar ones or else - no go!

Do you want kids? Or maybe you definitely don't want them. Are you sure? Many people continue through relationships and even get married, assuming that the other wants just what they want.

"I thought we wouldn't have kids until we'd had some time building our careers, say in 6 or 7 years time and I only discovered when Illona got pregnant that she'd wanted them immediately and that she assumed I would too. We'd never discussed it properly, but then you don't do you.." [This was sent to me by someone asking for help]

What's the story?

People will tell you everything you need to know to give you potential for further exploration or to know that it's time to go....you just have to listen - pay attention and ask for clarification when you are not sure

When you pay attention to the myths and stories of someone's life you will learn lots.. and as you listen, draw back the veils of lust and pay attention to what lies beyond and above all be true to yourself

* If for one moment you hesitate recounting some story for fear that the other person might not like you or be shocked.. then either it's too soon or it's time to check your self worth - Are you comfortable with your past and who you are now?

* If you find yourself agreeing with something they say, that in your heart of hearts you don't agree with, STOP. It's pointless saying 'me too' when it isn't true. They will be attracted to someone you are not and then you'll disappoint them and yourself.

* If you find yourself listening to them and thinking 'that will change' ALARM bells should start ringing. Go back and check your values. Be very careful!

* And if you find with each new revelation that you have more and more values, dreams
and ways of living in common, then great, pursue it... 

Explore yourself and others

When you want clarity on what it is you want, you can do this exploration.

Divide a piece of paper down the middle. On one side put ME and on the other his or her name.

* What do I value most in life? This usually generates big wide emotionally charged open nouns like freedom, security. Write what that big word means to you.

* What things are going on in my life that are very important to me to maintain? 

* What qualities is it vital for the other person to believe in or exhibit before I am prepared to enter a more long term relationship with them? 

Value Clashing & Lust

I asked her about Craig. Was he wild and spontaneous.. did he love her being like that? Her answers made me laugh.

NO WAY.. he's how shall I say..... 'regimented'. He has to plan everything.

Sarah is a bright woman. She's got a Doctorate and most of her friends are very intellectual and well read. She told me 'He only has 4 books and 3 of them are on law and that's because he's fighting a legal battle with his ex-wife!'

She also realised that Craig was looking for the 'right woman' - someone who could be a wife and mother - someone who would look good at the tennis club and someone who would be there as a support for him.

OH DEAR! Sarah had two grown up children and she'd gone the corporate wife route with her first husband. It was NOT for her. She was reinventing and unleashing her sexy self on the world..And although she loved his kids, she kind of felt uncomfortable being thought of primarily as a wife and mother. Craig thought he could change Sarah

What stops you?

So - that's a lesson.. the question is how do you know if someone is right for you and what stops you finding out?

What stopped Sarah finding out was Craig's butt! She couldn't take her brain off that butt and all that it represented to her. What stopped Craig finding out was deciding that Sarah would fit in somehow. Their initial burst of great sex was fostered in an unnatural environment. Neither of them had any idea what the other was like in their natural habitat. As they spent time together, Sarah and Craig both discovered several impediments to their potential relationship..

Lust - the double edged sword?

Lust is a wonderful thing, it is generated deep in our primal sexual drivers.. it interacts with our imprinted physical template of what matches us.. looks, size, hair colour...features.. and when we are in the same room or interact with someone like this, lust rises and engulfs us. It is nature's way of drawing people together.

And Lust can be blind. People can spend idyllic hours in a lust cloud... thick viscous all enveloping feelings, cut out our views of the world below... and we see the world and that person through a very misty lens - the kind of lens that they use in those photo-portrait
companies, that make you look like a 20 year old model when in reality you are 50 and look it!!

It can send you down a blind alley - When you are in lust somehow it doesn't seem to matter that the other person has completely different tastes in the basics of life. It doesn't seem to matter that the other person is very spontaneous and you like to plan everything step by step. It doesn't seem to matter that the other person doesn't have many books while you read voraciously. It doesn't seem to matter that the other person has vastly different values, they don't SEEM different.. and anyway, they'll change. Think again! They'll only change if THEY feel the urge to. I wonder where we get that phrase CLOUD cuckoo land!

It can open up a great new experience - And sometimes when you are in lust, you discover that there are lots of common likes and dislikes and that the person fits more than the physical template you hold. Great, your lusty instinct has led you to find something more.

The key to this is to be able to poke a hole through the cloud and come down to earth sufficiently long to focus on the reality of what you want and what is behind the lust. You may find that person has lots of qualities that you like and that's great.. and you may realise that there is no way you should continue...

Useful Tip: If you are in the lust stage, it might be useful to keep check that you are really being yourself. Are you pretending you like doing something because they do? Or are you genuinely enjoying it. Are you agreeing with their ideas when really you don't... Are you thinking they might change. STOP. If you can't like someone for how they are, and think they'll be OK once you've trained them.. FORGET IT! It doesn't work! Just remember who you are and check in with it regularly.

Sarah and Craig had a case of clashing values. Both of them had been living a story in their heads that didn't have the full facts. And both of them had been so blinded with lust that they hadn't paid attention to what the other had been telling them. Their vague discussions about being together more were based on only a general idea of what they both wanted.

I asked Sarah what was so wonderful about her marriage to her late husband. We produced a
list...

He was a creative, spontaneous and open to experiment lover and he loved Sarah to be like
that. They both initiated equally and felt great!

He was intelligent and well read and loved to socialise as did Sarah

He was successful in his own field

He loved her to look sexy because as he said 'other men will take a look at you and think how did this short overweight man pull her - must have something special in that department'. He had a sense of humour about himself.

He had a sense of occasion. He loved candles round the bath and dressing up for special events.

The list was long but these few examples say a lot about Sarah's values. I asked her what she valued most

Instantly, she said 'he loved and appreciated the wildness and spontaneity in me'.

I asked her about Craig. Was he wild and spontaneous.. did he love her being like that? Her
answers made me laugh.

NO WAY.. he's how shall I say..... 'regimented'. He has to plan everything.

Sarah is a bright woman. She's got a Doctorate and most of her friends are very intellectual and well read. She told me 'He only has 4 books and 3 of them are on law and that's because he's fighting a legal battle with his ex-wife!'

She also realised that Craig was looking for the 'right woman' - someone who could be a wife and mother - someone who would look good at the tennis club and someone who would be there as a support for him.

OH DEAR! Sarah had two grown up children and she'd gone the corporate wife route with her first husband. It was NOT for her. She was reinventing and unleashing her sexy self on the world..And although she loved his kids, she kind of felt uncomfortable being thought of primarily as a wife and mother. Craig thought he could change Sarah

What stops you?

So - that's a lesson.. the question is how do you know if someone is right for you and what stops you finding out?

What stopped Sarah finding out was Craig's butt! She couldn't take her brain off that butt and all that it represented to her. What stopped Craig finding out was deciding that Sarah would fit in somehow. Their initial burst of great sex was fostered in an unnatural environment. Neither of them had any idea what the other was like in their natural habitat. As they spent time together, Sarah and Craig both discovered several impediments to their potential relationship..

Lust - the double edged sword?

Lust is a wonderful thing, it is generated deep in our primal sexual drivers.. it interacts with our imprinted physical template of what matches us.. looks, size, hair colour...features.. and when we are in the same room or interact with someone like this, lust rises and engulfs us. It is nature's way of drawing people together.

And Lust can be blind. People can spend idyllic hours in a lust cloud... thick viscous all enveloping feelings, cut out our views of the world below... and we see the world and that person through a very misty lens - the kind of lens that they use in those photo-portrait
companies, that make you look like a 20 year old model when in reality you are 50 and look it!!

It can send you down a blind alley - When you are in lust somehow it doesn't seem to matter that the other person has completely different tastes in the basics of life. It doesn't seem to matter that the other person is very spontaneous and you like to plan everything step by step.  It doesn't seem to matter that the other person doesn't have many books while you read voraciously. It doesn't seem to matter that the other person has vastly different values, they don't SEEM different.. and anyway, they'll change. Think again! They'll only change if THEY feel the urge to. I wonder where we get that phrase CLOUD cuckoo land!

It can open up a great new experience - And sometimes when you are in lust, you discover that there are lots of common likes and dislikes and that the person fits more than the physical template you hold. Great, your lusty instinct has led you to find something more.

The key to this is to be able to poke a hole through the cloud and come down to earth sufficiently long to focus on the reality of what you want and what is behind the lust. You may find that person has lots of qualities that you like and that's great.. and you may realise that there is no way you should continue...

Useful Tip: If you are in the lust stage, it might be useful to keep check that you are really being yourself. Are you pretending you like doing something because they do? Or are you genuinely enjoying it. Are you agreeing with their ideas when really you don't... Are you thinking they might change. STOP. If you can't like someone for how they are, and think they'll be OK once you've trained them.. FORGET IT! It doesn't work! Just remember who you are and check in with it regularly.

How do you know if someone is right for you?

Sarah and Craig met when their eyes locked across a crowded hotel lobby. Sarah was magnetized. He was gorgeous - and she loved his butt. Both of them were in their 50's, he divorced, she a widow. She was with friends, he came over to their table and asked if he could join them for a drink. Sarah's friends went to bed and she and Craig stayed up talking and after finishing off another bottle of red wine - they spent their first night together and they didn't get much sleep! They were in lust!

Craig worked abroad and came back on a regular basis for business. Sarah had a busy life as a business consultant. He returned to his life and she did likewise. They corresponded by email and phone calls. She had a fine circle of friends and was a vibrant, great looking, sexy woman. In fact the wilder and more spontaneous sex was, the more she loved it. Craig had lived abroad for 12 years. He had a lifestyle that was enviable, and he worked hard. He had three children and was going through a messy divorce settlement.

A month or two after they met they went on holiday together. Sarah was still enraptured. The holiday was idyllic and the sex was great! Craig invited Sarah to stay with him on his home ground and that's when things started to crack.... .

They had talked of how they could spend more time together. Craig was keen for her to visit his home and to see if she could enjoy it there. He wanted to show her round. She thought that she could make use of business contacts and consult over there. They had even discussed vague plans for a future together.

Both of them thought they had found 'that special person'.

Sarah discovered a very different Craig to that wild spontaneous lover that had first enticed her. Craig had a crisis at work and he had to spend a lot of time there - more than he had planned. When he returned he was moody and short tempered with Sarah. He accused her of being dependent. She was shocked - during her time in a very hostile foreign country where women were not at ease to wander where they wished, she had been to visit business contacts, had lunch with several newly introduced women and generally been fairly self sufficient.

Craig on the other hand had an issue about responsibility. He felt responsible for everyone
and when he couldn't cope and be responsible, he blamed them. Hmmm.

One evening Sarah reached out to Craig and asked him when he would be finishing his newspaper... with that look and touch that says 'I want you .. .NOW!'... Craig reacted brusquely and said 'Why are you always bothering me - it'll happen naturally'. Crack crack...Sarah was horrified. She loved sex and she loved it with Craig and she had been so used to a totally full on honest sexual relationship with her husband... She felt rejected and dishonoured.

Craig was not used to women initiating sex. He felt pressurised because in his world view men initiated and when he wasn't in charge, he started to feel insecure and angry.

A few weeks after this, Sarah came to see me. She was down about the way the relationship was going. They had made so many plans, it had all seemed so idyllic at first - what went wrong? 

Generating, Emitting and Harnessing Sexual Energy

You are a sexual being 

First I want you to accept that this statement is possibly true and agree to believe this just while you read this article. You don’t have to agree, just give it room in your belief system for a short try out. I believe we are all sexual beings but many of us try to cover it up, or have forgotten just how sexual we are. 

Over the centuries dogmatic religions and other cultural prisons have force fed us lies about ourselves. We have learned that sex is sex and there is a time and a place for it. Nowadays we have a socio-political climate where men are afraid to make a move on a woman for fear of offending her and women are afraid to be sexual in case they are judged on that rather than their merits. This is not natural and I don’t know about you, but I won’t live my life in this fearful state! 

I’m not suggesting we go round shagging anywhere, anytime with anyone we choose [although that would be nice wouldn’t it!!]. And it doesn’t mean that we should be constantly turned on [mmm now there’s a thought.. maybe we can…]. It means much more than that. I’m suggesting that we need to recapture our sexual essence and celebrate empower it and let it flow through our lives as it was intended to. Let’s learn to fall in love with our sexuality all over again and embrace it as a wondrous driving force in our lives. 
The sexual energy centre - you've got one too!

The Martial arts and many of the Eastern meditative practices, religions and medicine have long been aware of and harnessed the body’s energy centres. Most martial artists will spend a long time learning to centre their energy and focus because without that, all the techniques in the world won’t work.

How useful would it be if you could get just a little of the focus and centering they have, that would be quite nice wouldn’t it? Well you can.

One of the key energy centres is the hara. This is the centre of your life energy and also your sexual energy. It's about 2 –4 inches below your belly button or around that area, from the centre out to the sides. When you feel sexual desire for someone chances are you will have sensations here. When you focus your attention on this point and regulate your breathing, you become more solid, centred or whatever word you choose to use. 


Breathing into your energy centre - in and out slowly

Find somewhere quiet to stand with your feet about six inches apart and locate the point. Some call it one-point as well as hara. There are many names for it. Your task is just to find it. Place your mental attention on this area of your body as you begin to breathe in and out slowly. Imagine the power rising from this point up your spine to the top of your head and returning down your back to between your legs and up to the hara again. This is your true personal power in action. This is powerful stuff. You can begin now. Do this often and become aware of feelings there and notice the difference. You are beginning to move your energy around your body and when you can link the sexual side of this energy and move that too, mmmm. It’s great! But more of that later.

“When passion burns within you remember that it was given to you for a
good purpose.” Old Hassidic saying 

Sexual energy is one of the most powerful motivating forces in our life. We were designed to reproduce and the urge is genetically imprinted. As we evolve, we still have this primal driver but our urge to reproduce, whilst strong, is no longer the life and death matter it used to be.  So what do we do with all this excess sexual energy? As well as enjoying wonderful soulful sex, we can learn to harness and use this motivational force in other areas of our life.

Regan hated ironing. When she learned to harness her sexual energy she discovered how to turn ironing into a very pleasurable task! Now Regan gets into her long black boots and not much else and irons on and on and on..

Dominic had a challenging time working with his managers. When he learned to see the world through rose coloured 'lips' his work took on a juicy dimension. By harnessing his sexual motivation and linking it to something he wanted to enjoy more, he learned to have almost as much fun at work as he does with his girlfriend!

You too can learn to harness your sexual energy and use it in all areas of your life. Think about it, you are harnessing your life force! We’ll be covering this in a later section.    


My friend Karen says that sometimes she walks into a room and it's like she's been hit by a ‘wall of testosterone’. In fact she's closer to the truth than she realises. It’s usually coming from a certain type of man I know that feeling. Some men give it off and others don’t. So what’s the secret?

The primitive driver – me Mark, you Mandy 

Let’s go back to the primitive beginnings of human beings. Women and men were programmed to fulfill certain roles. A man’s purpose was to spread his seed and a woman’s purpose was to find a man to impregnate her and take care of business while she nurtures the child.  These are our primary drivers, because despite the passing of time, our bodies, reproductive and survival mechanisms are still organized in this way. It’s what some call the primitive urge.  That’s why men do sometimes yearn to stray and women feel their biological clocks ticking.

Of course we are not our primitive ancestors; we have evolved with many more layers of sophistication cloaking our primitive sexuality. We sometimes forget we are still essentially sexual beings driven by primary urges.

Over the centuries, our brains have evolved and we have harnessed nature and technology to our will. Women defy nature by going out to work and men are not always the providers or towers of strength we expect them to be. Most of us are OK with this. I am a woman and I enjoy my career. I know other women who manage careers and children, although some complain that they can't give as much as they'd like to both. Many of my men friends are caring sharing new men. Some are much more blokey blokes. Some of my women friends are stay-at-home mothers. Today we have more choice in the role we play in a male/female relationship.

Did you know that in a survey of successful career women, scientists registered quite elevated levels of testosterone.

Men are experiencing lowered sperm counts as the water we recycle becomes more and more clogged with female hormones.

We are evolving all the time, and throughout it all, our link to our roots is evident in our ongoing desire to mate, copulate, have sex with another human being. Who we have it with and how we have it has changed, the desire remains the same.

Confidently himself

Men that are instantly sexually attractive to women are generally giving out some very masculine vibes. This doesn’t mean that they are all 6ft muscle-bound animals. What they are giving out is confidence. When a man is confident and self assured, it means that he is OK with who he is. We emit chemicals all the time. The maleness of men is determined by testosterone levels. It is the male hormone, just as oestrogen is the female hormone. When
we are happy we emit different chemicals to those we emit when we are sad. When we are in touch with our sexuality we begin to emit more of our sexual chemicals.

We are also highly senseual beings able to pick up on these chemicals unconsciously. That’s why we say things like, I just felt right about him, he had a look about him, I liked the smell of him and even he’s very tasty. We are literally sensing this person’s confidence, using long dormant powers of sensory perception. We pick this stuff up with all our senses, not just our sight or touch. We smell, taste, touch, see and hear little signs, inaudible to our conscious mind. We put these signs together and get a feeling.. We often describe it in terms of the sense we use most to process the world. 


The fact remains that we KNOW. That's why people say things like 'I just know'. We women have a perfect and very accurate male chemical sensor.

But this is just an initial thing. It's so important, but on it's own it is merely a trigger for lust and
some of us don't wait to find out more.. we plunge into lust.. driven by our primitive urges and hormones set a rocking by the input of male power.

Bad guy syndrome

This explains in part why women often fall for the ‘bad guys’. Bad guys are out there fully
believing in themselves and often ultra cocky. They strut their stuff, play with their mobile
phones, dangle their Porsche keys and emit vibe upon vibe of cocky confidence, and women
are unconsciously drawn to it just as ms peacock is drawn to the best display of feathers. When they talk they give off powerful sexual vibes. They never turn off their sexuality. In fact they rarely turn it down. And we are pulled by our primitive urges towards them. Women also take varying amounts of time to recognise this, see through it and dismiss it. Some do it instantly, others fall into the trap and take longer to extricate themselves.

You leak the truth from every pore

Men who aren’t confident in their own sexuality and maleness, on the other hand, are probably
inside their heads either playing the I’m a harmless man game, or worrying about whether a girl will fancy him, talking to himself, making terrible images of failure and all the while emitting those lack-of-confidence chemicals. We women can smell it a mile off. The man’s body language reflects how he is, even before his thoughts get more gloomy or hopeless or non-sexual.

When a man learns to be in touch with and accept and feel good about his masculinity and is comfortable with being a sexual being and doesn’t cut off his sexuality in order to appear less threatening to women, he will become attractive.

He will be emitting his own wall of testosterone. When he is like this surrounded by his maleness, and he knows how to make women feel good by genuine concern and interest not false flattery, we will sense his charisma and be drawn like a dog to a juicy steak. We smell the confidence, we feel the warmth, and if he can make us laugh on top of that we are guaranteed to melt..

Playing a waiting game or not

A friend told me recently about his first sexual encounter that nearly never was. He went back to this girl's place and decided to do the 'gentlemanly thing' by offering to sleep on the sofa.  She sat next to him, put her arms around him and looked him straight in the eye. 'What's the problem' .. don't you want me?. Of course he did. He was prepared to wait and she had to give him a clear signal to go ahead. Luckily for him she was self-assured enough to ask him, otherwise he may have lost out.

A young friend recounted how he'd become friends with a woman and slept with her a couple of times, but not had sex. He thought to himself, I'll just play it cool for a while, and it'll build up slowly. The third time they got together it happened.

She may have needed to build up trust. Not all women or men come to relationships unscarred.  Some have learnt to see them not as scars but as lessons. Others haven't yet. Sometimes women need to be given space to build up trust. Others are ready to go for it straight away.

Remember you have a choice. You can be honest and say how you feel, and also make it clear that you'll respect her wishes.

When you learn to get more in touch with your senses, as I describe in my book, Flirt Coach, you'll find it easier to sense sexual energy in the form of barriers or invitations.

The template factor 

What also makes a man instantly attractive to a woman, provided he has the inner self confidence, is to what degree he fits her physical template for a man.

Let me explain. We all have a type even if we don’t know it and even if all the men we have
been with don’t fit the type. When I showed my mother a picture of my current man she said ‘oh that’s the Elvis look, you’ve always been attracted to that’. Indeed I had grieved much as a child knowing I could never marry Elvis Presley. He was my first love. I thought back to men I had really been instantly attracted to and all of them had this look. I had met other men who I had got to know and fallen for because of their many other attributes, but they hadn’t matched the template.

And even if they do match the template, I always have to find out more before I am totally sure of the attraction. It may only take a short conversation for me to know whether I could be attracted to this man, but the conversation bit is essential for me.

They may be from a completely alien world to me and just not my type! Or, they may be
someone who shows some interesting sparks beyond their looks and that's when I know I
want it to go further. Some people get primarily 'turned on' to someone else by a great voice, others are suckers for looks and some 'feel' an energy. We are all different and all process the world through a different combination of senses.

Jana has a penchant for men who are tall with long blond curly hair whilst Katriona goes for men who are stocky, dark and swarthyish. I am instantly attracted to men with lots of black hair, big lips, flared nostrils and blue eyes. These are just some of the multitude of individual physical templates women hold for men. Men have them too.

This is not a template about good looks. It is a template for a certain look which could just as easily be a short, slight man with a big nose as a stocky well built man with a shock of black hair. It is something that seems to have begun somewhere in childhood or even before and if you stop for a moment and think, you may begin to recognise instances of sameness in the types of people you have looked at and gone ‘wow’ [and we’re not just talking movie stars here!].     


Just one thing

A 23 year old male friend works in a trendy London bar. He is a total woman magnet. The bar deliberately employs guys that are attractive and magnetic because they have a lot of early 20's very late teens, sophisticated women punters. This guy has enormous success with women.  They flock round him. I thought I'd ask him what he finds attractive in a woman!

He said that she had to have one thing about her that would make him look twice. It could be her smile, her hair, the way she walks or her voice or great legs/face/body/whatever. That one thing will set him off and into action. Then she has to be interested in him and able to talk.

She wants me

A sophisticated, charismatic, good looking 44 yr-old male friend answered with a very long and inspiring list of thoughts. A little tongue in cheek, his mail began

"What I want in a woman is ... when I lift my right eyebrow, her nipples go hard as rocks.. and when I lift my left eyebrow, she creams her jeans.."

He wrote this with a wry humour, but the sense of it came from the male's deep primitive sexual origins. Nipples going hard and wet pussies are all signs of a woman's desire for a man. A man feels hot when a woman wants him.

You don't have to go to those extremes, yet [and how exciting will it be when you can maintain hot desire for your lover/partner just by thinking about it. [See generating sexual energy at will]. I really think that if a woman is interested in a man, she does have to show him. Men need reassurance too. They need to be wanted as much as we do.

Energy-dead vs energised

This guy also looks at the way a woman moves. Is she graceful and sylphlike in her
movements. He also notices when a woman is giving out the kind of energy he likes.

Once I pointed out a very slim, traditionally attractive, blond about 23 yrs old -she may have been a model because she was carrying a model's portfolio case. I said 'what about her'. He glanced, and glanced away 'No energy'. He was right, she was 'beautiful' but energetically
dead.

Another very earthy, attractive and sensual man said to me 'I like a woman to be in touch with her own body'. He also said he looked for 'that spark of energy'. This is a very kinesthetically oriented man. He sees but it is primarily translated in his feelings. He is attracted to the vibes, sparks and senses the energy of women.

Keeping the fire alight

How do you move? You know, I think the way someone moves is largely determined by the
way they are at that moment. When you are really feeling good, sparkly and being yourself,
you tend to change your posture and your whole physiology comes together to create a
special energy that flows from your pores.

When this energy goes out alongside your individual chemical messengers, someone who is a match for you will pick up on it. Doesn't it make sense to be like this more and more. You could meet a special person anywhere at any time.

Some heating systems rely on a boiler. The boiler roars into action when hot water is required and it subsides to the merest pilot light when it is not. If you have used one of these systems, you will know how important it is to keep the pilot light burning. Is your pilot light lit, or has it gone out. Time to relight the fire.

Getting to the core of you

Yes! It's time to relight your fire. What if you think it's never been lit. Oh yes it has. It was sparking once ready to roar into action and light up the world. When you were a tiny child, before you were filled full of toxic stories that dulled you like a piece of tarnished silver, you shone as only you can. You resonated your tune in harmony with the world. The good news is that like silver that has dulled, the tarnish can be removed to reveal the true beauty beneath - you, as you once were and can still be.

First and foremost it's useful and important to understand and accept that you are a sexual being. If you balk at that idea, how about trying it on just for now. You might like it! Your levels of desire and attitudes to sexuality may be very different to many other people. We have all been subject to stories of some kind that have tarnished our shining sexuality. Each person carries his or her portfolio of stories like dust that clogs the pores and impedes the smooth flow in you.

Let flow your fantasies and desires

You've had sexual desires and needs and sometimes you've fulfilled them either with yourself, or with a partner/s or in some dream or fantasy. These desires are part of your individual make up. There are only a few criteria that any desire or act must fulfill before it is acceptable.

1. It must not harm anyone against their will

2. It must be agreeable to all parties involved

3. It should be safe

4. If with another party, that party should be another human being over the age of consent. [i.e. sex with animals is not good, it's dangerous and not fair on the animal - animal sex should only take place in your fantasies]

Think about it... whatever you want is OK. And what you can't have with someone else, you can have in your dreams and fantasies if that quells the desire. You just have to indulge it or find a willing partner to indulge it with you.

Maurice came on my flirting workshop and learnt that it was OK to be into fetish. He went to a club, made new friends and now he has a girlfriend who is into the same sexual scene as he is. Great!

So, now that you know it's OK. You can let rip.

How to generate sexual energy

1.    Lie down, sit or stand - it only matters that you are comfortable

2.    Locate your hara point and focus your attention on it. Relax and inhale and exhale a few times until your breathing is slow and regular. Just let it happen.

3.    Close your eyes if you wish.

4.    Begin to think of the ultimate sexual fantasy that turns you on. If necessary, watch the porn, read the book, think the thoughts you need to in order to get the fantasy going

5.    Notice where the feelings are in your body. Breathe as if you are moving those feelings up the front of your spine through the middle of your body, wafting past your heart and to the top of your head. As you breathe out, imagine the energy waving back down over the top of your head, down through the back of your spine to the hara point.

6.    Loop the feelings round and round, while still maintaining the fantasy. Don't attempt to masturbate at this time. This is not about trying to reach orgasm. Just allow the sexual feelings to move around your body. Notice as they subside and continue to breathe.

7.    Relax.

8.    Do this again, and again. What you are doing is generating sexual energy, but not using it to create orgasm. This energy is very empowering. The more you generate it on a daily basis, the more juiced up you are going to be for life.

9.    If you feel so turned on that you have to do more, then practise what my friend Guy calls stop- start wanking / masturbating. Bring yourself to the brink as many times as possible, breathe the energy round your body and continue like this for as long as you are revelling in the great feelings.

10.    Good.. this is very very good for you...you are building up your sexual energy... and it can be used for all sorts of wonderful things...